


Pleasure and money

by piss



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Cam boy, Dysphoria, M/M, Masturbation, Trans Character, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-12
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-05-13 13:05:52
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5709271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piss/pseuds/piss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Anakin is a cam boy Obi-Wan is a technological wreckage.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have sinned so hard I'm going to hell. Do u think the devil likes obikin

Anakin turned his gaze towards the top of the screen: 21 viewers. Well that was fast considering he just turned his webcam on. The chat was flooded with some hello's and lots of tasteless dirty talk. He rolled his eyes but nonetheless plastered a smile on his face and waved his hand. He started slaming his fingers on the keyboard, typing rapidly.  
'AnalSky: hello lovelies! i hope youre going to enjoy the show today'. He looked directly into the camera and winked. 

Anakin made sure to turn his microphone volume up before making himself more comfortable against the armchair. His hands grasped the back of his neck, slowly descending down his shoulders and towards his abdomen all the while arching his back. He bit his lip before dipping his hands under the black T-shirt. Slow, feathery touches all over his abdomen and then up towards his chest. His left hand left the warmth of his skin only to grasp the hem of the T-shirt and tug it up showing off his chest and putting the article of clothing between his teeth. Anakin didn't hesitate to bring both of his hands to his nipples, twisting them till they hardened. Groans, somewhat muffled by the T-shirt made their way out and the chat was once again flooded with declarations and confessions. He tried to avoid looking at it, he hated the dirty fucks who were probably madly stroking at their cocks while typing furiously love declarations. Anakin was here for the money and the pleasure and you'd have to pay him 8.000$ per month to make him go out with some 45 year old who hasn't learnt how to wash his dick properly but wants to take him out for dinner and make love on the beach.

'Anakin, concentrate!' His fingers left his chest and he moved towards his belt. He undid the buckle with ease and slipped the zipper down. His cock sprang free thanks to the lack of underwear. Though he didn't dare touch it yet, instead he spoke clearly.

"I bet you want to see me play with my cock, don't you? I bet your mouth is watering right now just thinking of the possibility of touching it, tasting it. But you can't." He grasped his cock as the last word left his mouth. "A-ah, you like that, huh?" Slow strokes, let the animals starve. "Want to see me come all over my chest. Taste my own come." He grasped his head and toyed with the slit. "You'are all dirty fucks, but I'll give it to you."

His strokes picked up and so did the volume of his moans. His pace was steady, hand gliding easier with the help of precum. Anakin's left hand started fumbling with his balls, alternating between stroking and groping. Fuck, he needed more, needed it faster, harder. A ragged groan, a harsher pace and the edge of orgasm approaching. There was the added factor of being watched, he has always liked being the center of attention, loved being seen as the deity he truly was. Knowing there were a bunch of hungry men on the other end, desiring his body and affection but with no chance of getting it brang him to climax.

"Fuck! I'm coming, I'm coming, I'm comin-FUCK!"

He shot all over his chest and stomach before he reclined against the back of the arm chair. "Enjoyed that? But we're not quite done yet." As promised Anakin dipped his fingers into the cum, swishing it all over his stomach and bringing it to his lips. He tentatively licked the tips before shoving them into his mouth sucking the fluid off. He made sure to moan as loud as he could.

"Well that's it for today. See you again Friday." 

The number of viewers started dropping until none remained. He cleaned himself up, muted his microphone and was about to turn off his webcam when he noticed the number 0 blinking into 1. He shook his head.

AnalSky: youre a little late buddy

√

Obi-Wan was not good with computers, you could go as far as to say he was a disaster. His friends always joked about him being a stone age time traveler man who has just witnessed the miracle of technology. It was funny the first time, not so much after the fifteen time. He was searching for any news in the competition field so you can imagine the horror on his face when an ad popped up, and not just a random ad but one redirecting to a gay live streaming site. A man with brown mid length hair appeared on the screen. He was shirtless. Obi-Wan started to sweat. He couldn't find the close button, Obi-Wan started to sweat more. Oh God what if the man was able to see him too? He forgot all about closing the tab and his hands shot up to cover the webcam on his laptop. When he looked at the screen to see if the stranger noticed him he noticed a string of letters on the right side of the video.

AnalSky: youre a little late buddy

Bringing one hand down from the webcam he started typing.

Guest4532: Can you see me?

AnalSky: wat

AnalSky: no. have u ever used a cam site

With a relieved sigh he dropped his other hand and continued typing.

Guest4532: No... and by the way I thought you needed to be an adult to do this kind of stuff.

He saw the man's quizzical look before his eyebrows scrunched up in anger.

AnalSky: fuck u!! I'll have u kno im of age to drink,smoke and fuck ur mother 

Who the hell did this kid think he was? A fucking kid who went by the name...AnalSky. Obi-Wan couldn't take it, he burst out laughing.

Guest4532: Alright AnalSky...

AnalSky: ok look i need 15minutes and then i can give u the show of ur life u know like taking ur cam virginity

Guest4532: I appreciate the sentiment but no. I'm only here because I searched for judo competitions and somehow arrived here.

AnalSky: well im here 4 the pleasure and the $$$ take the offer, i dont give em to just anyone could even call u master

The boy said mimicking a blow job. The gesture was obscene yet mesmerising. The man was quite attractive Obi-Wan had to give him that.

Guest4532: I'd rather pay you to type correctly. Just a sentence, only one. You can do it!

AnalSky: Oh no, I'm so sorry this is the internet and not my graduation paper!

Guest4532: You get an A for the effort.

AnalSky: wowie thanx master

Obi-Wan couldn't believe he spent the next two hours talking to a stranger who masturbate live for a living. I guess life is full of surprises. One moment you're trading taunts back and fort and the other moment this attractive stranger is asking for your Skype.

Obi-Wan, what have you gotten yourself into?

Guest4532: It's bluelight.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ive decided that if satan doesnt ship obikin ill dethrone him and take his place   
> also i drew a thing http://bpdanakin.co.vu/post/137225082009/uhm-for-this-fic

This is not how Anakin expected the day to go. I guess life is full of surprises. The guest that was the last to enter was one of them. He didn't know what to think. Honestly, was that person a nun? Who the hell didn't use a cam site, at least once in their lives. Yet there was something that kept him from logging off, maybe the insults this stranger threw at Anakin. Was that technological disaster blind? Anakin had the face of an angel and the body of a god packed with the personality of an incubbus, and in no way did he deserve to be treated as such. Every man, woman and everyone in between had to stop and stare. More often than not this resulted in Anakin receiving their affection whether wanted or not. Which brings us to the next question, was this being a god damn alien? And more importantly, did aliens have judo competitions?

His offer for a private show was declined, his way of writing was made fun of, his setup was deemed boring and unartistic and his T-shirt was declared old and dirtier than a cum rag. Apparently 'Guest4532' thought Marilyn Manson's face was so pale due to his numerous attemps at wiping his cum. This made Anakin fume so bad he slouched over the coffee table on which the laptop rested. Typing in a frenzy, he didn't notice his laptop slipping more forward and forward and in the next moment his body was pushed by gravity and he fell against the table, hitting the right side of his forehead against the edge. He was going to fucking die, and not from the pain but the shame that overtook his entire being. Anakin slowly got up, his vision blurry and holy fuck he was bleeding. The things he did for Marilyn Manson. Anakin swore he wasn't a masochist, not even a little tiny bit so when he asked for the stranger's skype he blamed it on the blood loss. 

√  
''You what?!''

''Padme please, my head is killing me.''

''As it should. You do realize I had to stich your dumb face, right?''

Anakin still had the strenght to grimace, giving Padme an annoyed look. ''Your pretty dumb face.'' She corrected herself. Padme sighed taking a place on the chair opposite of her reckless friend. ''All of this happended because you couldn't control your anger while talking to someone you don't even know. Did they at least apologize?''

''Well they told me to go to a doctor... after telling me that was the most graceless fall they ever saw.'' Anakin presented his middle finger to the now wheezing Padme. ''Shut up! What would you have done in my place?''

Padme pretended to think for a bit. ''Well, most likely not lose my shit like a twelve year old fanboy. But hey, you do your thing and I'll always be here to put a needle through your skin.''  
Anakin shook his head, wincing at the pain that shot through the right part. ''I couldn't help myself. Nobody has ever treated me like this... Padme, do you think they might be an alien and just not attracted to humans?'' The long haired boy continued to rant about his theory and the logic behind it. He didn't know the probability of aliens existing or not but somehow the probability of someone not being head over hills attracted to him seemed even lower. His companion listened quietly, cracking a smile here and there. Anakin truly was something. For all the seductive behavior he displayed and his less than common way of earning money he sure had the imagination of a child.

The discussion pumped Anakin up. He wasn't tired anymore and the pain dulled. He needed a computer right now.

''Padme, I need your laptop.''

''Are you going to skype them?''

''....''

''Jesus Christ. Fine. It's in my bedroom.''

Anakin jumped up from the chair and practically ran into the girl's bedroom. He made himself comfortable on the bed and propped the laptop on his knees. He was more than pleased to log in and see that 'bluelight' has accepted his friend request. Yeah, he was gonna show Obi-Wan who's the ....HO LY SHIT. ''Holy shit fuck holy shit shit shit shit shit shit!''

''Anakin, are you alright?''  
''PADME. HE'S HOT. HE'S FUCKING HOT.''

The stranger's picture, no, Obi-Wan's picture was a man dressed in a simple white T-shirt. Obi-Wan had light brown hair and a beard framed his stretched lips. His nose was a perfect angle and form, his eyebrows stuffy but well kept. This couldn't be him, probably some actor. Yeah that had to be it. So Anakin did the only logical thing he could think of.

Ani: u look like a grandpa :')

The reply came instantly and Anakin wondered if Obi-Wan has been waiting for him.

Obi-Wan: If that was the case you would be disowned by now.

Fuck it really was him. This was 'Guest4532' who threw insults at him every chance he got, the fucker Anakin cracked his forehead open for. He was going to skin himself alive. ''PADME!!'' he shouted again  
.  
''I'm coming, I'm coming!'' Padme kneeled on the bed near Anakin while he hurried to turn the laptop towards her. ''Fucking look at him Padme. Just look.'' 

''Well, yeah, you were right. He's hot.''

''What am I gonna do now?'' Anakin whined.

''You're saying this like you had a plan before.'' Anakin turned his head back to the screen in surrender. He felt his friend's comforting touch on his back. ''You're on the bed, everything's soft and you can't hurt yourself this time so just be yourself. Since he gave you his skype he's bound to be interested in you. Just make sure to not give out any information, he might be a creep.''

''Yeah, you're right. I'm gonna be myself and you're gonna be yourself right besides me and we're gonna teach this fucker a lesson.''

''Sure Ani, right after I finish my work. By the way, you might want to reply to that message.'' Padme said before taking her leave. Anakin read the new strings of words, Obi-wan had the decency to ask about his injury.

Obi-Wan: How's your head? How many stitches did you get?

Ani: how did u know

Obi-Wan: It's not like I haven't seen people get injured before. You should join my class, be an example for kids on how to not screw up.

Ani: am i allowed to wear body tight clothing

Obi-Wan: I think a protective body suit would benefit you more.

And again, why was Anakin talking to this guy? Well, now that he saw him he could barely keep his eyes from roaming to the profile picture again and again. That said something, Anakin wasn't the kind of guy who paid attention to just anyone. They had to look good and have a nice personality which obviously wasn't the case for Obi-Wan. Yet talking to someone who didn't put him on a pedestral was a nice change, he reminded him of Padme. The same quick tongue and elegance. It was worth admiring, somewhat.

Ani: so how old r u, what do u do for a living. is ur name really obi wan wan

Obi-Wan: I'm 30. I'm a judo instructor and yes. What about you..AnalSky?

Ani: are you ever letting it go? im anakin, 23 ;) and i live cam and sell some of my tapes online. im willing to give u a discount on one. www.thechosenone.com . Telling Obi-Wan his name wasn't giving away any important information, right? 

Obi-Wan's cheeks flushed at the suggestion. Despite trying his best he couldn't resist the temptation and clicked the link. A black page opened addorned with images of the boy and some kind of weird sad frog.   
Obi-Wan's eyes scanned the page links. If he opened the page he might as well check out the trailers. There were only two, one titled 'shower scene 01' and the other one 'pepe gives me strenght to slay my enemies'. He didn't want to think what the second one was about so he played the first video. A larger version popped up and the seconds started to roll.

Anakin was inside of a shower stall, water pouring over his body. ''Hey, this is The Chosen One. I've had a hard day so I thought I should work out some of it.'' And those were his only words before he took the matter in his own hands, literally. The shower stall echoed his moans and with every thouch his cock sprung up more and more. His head rested against the cubicle, his nipples hard and his right hand wondering down over his happy trail. Just as he was about to grab his cock the video ended and Obi-Wan's breath caught. He stayed like that for a little bit wondering what the fuck just happend. An orange flash at the bottom of his taskbar woke him up and he checked his skype.

Ani: u dead grandps

Obi-Wan: What's up with the weird sad frog?

Ani: thats pepe u uncultured fuck

Ani: http://www.memecenter.com/search/pepe

Obi-Wan prayed to all gods that this wasn't another pornography material. He was met with various images of the frog, text plastered over it. He skipped over the images not understanding a thing. What in the heaven was all this?

Obi-Wan: I don't get it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so thats how ani got his scar....  
> no, i cant write anything without putting thousands of bad jokes in it  
> ive been thinking of making obi trans  
> also been thinking of creating a skype group so we can all yell about obikin


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've lost count of the days I've spent in he'll. One thingis for sure though. Satan loves obikin and trans headcannons, he encourages me to sim more

Explaining memes and their currency wasn't how Anakin expected to spend his evening but even so he felt grateful for the chance to bring a newcomer into this wonderful world. It felt like he was about to baptise Obi-Wan and give him meme salvation. It was his duty and he was going to take this seriously. 

Ani: ok so pepe is like the hottest meme of the year. the rarest the pepe the better

Obi-Wan: It's not like you get paid per image so what's the point?

Ani: obi my innocent child. u do get paid the payment is the satisfaction of collecting the rarest pepes the tinge of exhilaration that comes with knowing of ur vast collection

Obi-Wan: Like Yu-Gi-Oh? Do you duel with these Pepes?

Obi-Wan's confusion was clear on his face. The way his eyebrows scrunched up and the uncertainty that filled his eyes. Was this what the younglings did in these days? He opened a new tab and searched for Pepe duels. He didn't find anything besides Yu-Gi-Oh videos. 

Ani: well no but i mean we could duel if u gather enough memes. also memes arent only restricted to pepe there are lots of memes like doge or drakes hotline u gotta search them up obi like right fucking now 

Obi-Wan has already seen too much for his own good today, what more damage could some memes do? He searched for the Drake one and he had to admit, some of them were quite funny even making him laugh out loud. The dog was adorable too, less weird than the frog. Maybe he could get into this meme thing if it involved more cute animals. He was so busy staring at small dogs he failed to hear the familiar Skype ding.

Ani: btw have u seen the 2nd trailer the one with pepe?

Anakin balled his fists, anxiously waiting for an answer. That trailer was art which only spoke volumes about the full movie. It wasn't exactly porn, more like an ASMR detailing the importance of meme culture and the rise of Pepe in the sultriest voice he could manage while the visuals depicted Anakin stamping Pepes all over his ex-boss' car. Needless to say it was the third best sold video up to this day.

Ani: helloooo??

It's been a few minutes since Anakin asked that and it was concerning giving that Obi-Wan replied in a matter of seconds. Did he go too far? Has Obi-Wan watched the trailer and was currently slamming his head against his keyboard hoping it would erase the clip from his memory? Well maybe he'd slam it hard enough to cut through skin and get him an identical scar. That'd serve him right. Anakin was ripped from his thoughts by the flash of his screen.

Obi-Wan: No I didn't and I will not. I refuse.

Ani: but thats my masterpiece!!! cmon obiiii

Obi-Wan: NO.

They bickered back and forth. Anakin had practically begged Obi-Wan to watch it but Obi-Wan held his ground already feeling the imminent death witnessing the content of the video would bring. 

It was around 11pm that Obi-Wan told Anakin it was time he went to sleep and as much as Anakin tried to make him stay by 11:15 he logged off and made his way to bed. After a day of handling this boy Obi-Wan welcomed the comfort of his soft sheets. 

His eyelids felt heavy and he gave in closing them yet Obi-Wan's thoughts were plagued by Anakin. His beautiful features and his fierce and daring attitude. He even felt a tinge of guilt upon remembering the coffee table accident which he quickly dissipated. Obi-Wan was sure the man was trouble but like a moth drawn to the light he was drawn to the dark alluring Anakin. Despite every fiber of his being screaming at him to back away and never look back he was excited for their next conversation. He didn't know how this happened. Maybe it was his confidence, maybe the piercing gaze he held or maybe those long moans he elicited while stroking every part of his body and that long wheeping cock that stood high and proud as if daring Obi-Wan to kneel and touch it, taste it and- 'No! Obi-Wan get yourself together. No matter how hard and wet you are right now you will not touch yourself. Control is key. Practice what you've learnt.' With an ache between his legs Obi-Wan's breathing slowed down. Taking deep breathes and holding them in for a few seconds before exhaling made the sensation in his crouch dull until eventually it lay forgotten behind the curtains of deep slumber. But even sleep didn't show him any mercy.

Obi-Wan's eyelids opened and he was greeted by a king sized bed addorned with red and gold satin sheets. The desire to just jump and roll in it was accented by the huge fluffy pillows that rested atop of it. So he did just that. He dived head first into it and for a moment he felt like he was sinking. The satin hugged his body and he recalled the days he was a child and his mother would hug and sing to him songs in a language he couldn't yet decipher. It always calmed him down, made him feel protected and whole.

Obi-Wan turned on his back and gaped. Before him lay a window the size of the entire wall but that's not what took him by surprise. It was the scenery that lay ahead. So much green. An entire forest with peculiar oval trees which blossomed purple and white flowers. His body left the comfort of bed and carried him where his heart truly belonged. If it wasn't for that damned window he'd be free to walk the woods, feel the energy that resided in all living things,.smell the enticing aroma of nature. He had to get out. Now.

Frantically searching for a door he heard the click of a doorknob. Turning to face it he was met with another surprising display. Anakin. Anakin, his body glistening with water, a small towel shielding his private parts from Obi-Wan's roaming gaze.

"I'm sorry I made you wait this long Obi-Wan. It was very inconsiderate of me." The man began to walk towards him. "Although I would have thought you'd be naked and ready by the time I finished." Anakin's hands came up to tangle in Obi-Wan's shirt, leading him towards the bed. His eyes fixed on the shorter man's ones he watched as confusion and then realization washed over them as soon as he hit the bed falling gracefully into the sheets. 

"Anakin, I can't."

"Can't what?"

"Can't do this. I'm sorry."

The standing one looked perplexed for a moment then understanding flashed across his face. "I get it. You want to fuck me in the woods which by the way I'm totally fine with...but I don't think there's a way out. Tell you what, you can do me against the window." 

It was the second time Obi-Wan's mouth sat wide open. The idea excited him much more than he'd like to admit but he knew he couldn't do this. He ignored the familiar ache and instead turned his head to the side. If he couldn't see the look of desire written all over Anakin's face it'd be easier to deny him.

Apparently that seemed to be the wrong move. The man towering above him growled and he felt his jaw being yanked and lips descending on his in a crushing lock. Anakin tried his best to get the other man's mouth open, nipping at his bottom lip to no avail until Obi-Wan relented and gave him permission. He was going to regret this and he knew it.

Anakin's forte was never his patience. He undid Obi-Wan's pants in a matter of seconds and grasped his thick length and that's when it hit him. Pulling away from the kiss he looked down unbelieving. A cock, a fucking cock. The sole reason he held back so many times from his desires lay before him in an upright position. That's when Obi-Wan lost all the control he held so tightly on.

With a quick grab he flipped them over, smashing his mouth over Anakin's. Tongue tied in battle and hands trying to get Anakin's towel down and away as if his life depended on it. They only broke apart to rid Obi-Wan of his shirt before their lips glued back together. their tongues seemed to have a mind of their own and the air was stolen and traded between them repeatedly. But it was all fine, because this feeling of being wanted on such a carnal level made up for the lack of oxygen.

"The window." The taller man rasped out and they moved. It was fast and without charm and they almost fell over a couple of times. But it was all fine, because this crashing hug made them both feel protected. Anakin's whole body shuddered when he came into contact with the cold surface but Obi-Wan ignored it in favor of wetting his fingers and parting the man's cheeks.

"No, don't. I did that myself in the shower. Just..move, faster."

The need inside Obi-Wan seemed to amplify and he guided his cock towards Anakin's entrance. In one swift movement he pushed in, sinking farther and farther until the hilt. The warmth and tightness made him choke on his own moans. This was heaven, heaven that was stolen away from Obi-Wan from the moment of conception.

"Move damnit! And that's the only encouragement Obi-Wan needed. His hips slammed repeatedly and ruthlessly and Anakin was not shy to show his appreciation. Thrusting his hips backwards to meet the other man's thrusts in a perfect rhythm and screaming his name as loud as his vocal chords allowed him. 

"Obi-Wan Obi-Wan Obi-Wan. Faster,.harder, more!"

It was intoxicating. Obi-Wan has never been high before but if this is how people felt when they burnt their lungs with the tasteless smoke he didn't blame them, not anymore. 

He was close and torn between slowing down and moving faster. He ended up listening to Anakin's pleas, his hips snapping so fast and hard all rhythm was lost. So close, so close, so close soclosespclosesoclose

"ANAKIN!" Obi-Wan's vision turned white, stars leaping dancing across. It felt like hours, he was coming again and again and it felt like Anakin had milked every last drop of his life power by the time it he was done. They dropped to the floor, Anakin's head resting on Obi-Wan's shoulder.

"You weree wonderful, perfect." Obi-Wan gathered his strength to whisper but the man he held in his arms seemed not to hear him, staring into the distance. That's when Obi-Wan knew something was wrong and that's when everything turned black and he found himself in a small room illuminated by the street lamp he usually loved but in this moment detested.

He didn't have to look down to see the wet patch spread across his underwear nor could he bring himself to resume his breathing exercise, the final means to let go of everything that ever bothered him.

He started crying.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so corny jfc

Obi-Wan widened his stance. He extended his right arm in front of him, palm facing upward. With a rotation of his body he lowered his right arm and and raised his left. His feet started to move carrying him from one corner of the room to another, arms swinging continuously. He was dancing, but this dance usually elegant and slow was now aggressive and daring. His movements were erratic and graceless. The routine was finished but his body didn't stop moving. A kick then a punch, a swing, another kick and another punch before his movements ceased to resemble any form of martial arts and became the grotesque display of a man on the verge of drowning. His breath became ragged, sweat glistening on his skin and with every second that passed Obi-Wan put more power in his movements.

"Nice show."

At the familiar voice Obi-Wan felt shame overcome him. His head hung low, not daring to meet the other man's eyes. "I'm sorry Master. You must be disappointed."

"For what?"

"This is not what Judo stands for. I was filled by unwanted emotion." 

"Obi-Wan you're only human, you're bound to have emotions and this is a healthy way to release them." Obi-Wan's eyes met his master's trying to give his guilt and shame a physical form.

"It still feels wrong, master." He averted his gaze again. He knew that Qui-Gon was right but he was disappointed in himself for allowing such emotions to be born. He was never one for violence and his routine transformed into a passionate display of that.

Qui-Gon crossed the distance between them, grabbing Obi-Wan's shoulder and squeezing hoping the touch will sooth him. "Lets go for coffee. You can talk to me about whatever it is that bothers you."

 

 

Obi-Wan was proud to call the man sitting opposite of him his best friend. He was kind and wise, perhaps a bit too reckless, but always ready to listen and Obi-Wan was grateful for that. He spent years training under Qui-Gon and he'd trust the man with his life. Telling him about his problems was an entirely different thing. He knew Qui-Gon wouldn't judge him but by speaking out Obi-Wan couldn't pretend the problems didn't exist anymore. He had to confront them.

"Go on."

Obi-Wan hesitated yet he knew he'd only postpone the inevitable. With a voice barely above a whisper he spoke. "I've been wondering...about my desires. I wish there was someone close to me. "

"So you want a partner and it looks like you have someone in mind."

"No! I've just met him. He is charming, that's true, but I wouldn't make such a rash decision." Obi-Wan was quick to reply. He did find Anakin attractive but he knew him for barely two days.

"Why not? You need to loosen up. You've always been too tight up."

"He's 23."

Qui-Gon's hand shot up to knead at the bridge between his eyes. "Sounds old enough to make his own choices."

The younger man was silent his eyes revealing the conflict that lay inside him.

"Obi-Wan, that man is not Satine. He may not think like she did. You need to trust yourself, you're a man just as much as I am." Qui-Gon's tone was gentle and without hesitation. If it's something he regrets in his life it's that he's unable to help Obi-Wan cease his self hatred but he still tries, always, because seeing the kind and thoughtful man in front of him wailing in despair and unhappiness feels like a crime.

"Thank you, master." And there's light in his eyes again.

"So tell me more about him."

 

Talking with Qui-Gon helped. Thinking about it now, being scared of contacting Anakin again was foolish. Their conversation consisted of bickering and memes as always. Obi-Wan had nothing to fear. Day by day he found out tidbits about the other man as Qui-Gon suggested he do. Behind the bashful and abrasive way he acted and seemed so keen to make his image Anakin was sweet and caring and surprisingly was able to discuss other things besides dicks and memes. Obi-Wan couldn't figure out if that was a good or bad thing. Making friends was something he considered good but falling for them with the possibility of those friends being disgusted by him was not. He could stand rejection, he'd gratefully take if it meant avoiding what happened with Satine. But Anakin wasn't Satine and he needed to remember that.

Obi-Wan's dance returned to its calculated state. He decided that his first small outburst was going to be the last one as well. The dark smudge of insecurity and what could happen never left his mind but he shoved it deep down during the day and faced it during the night. 

He ended the lesson with a bow. The students reciprocated before heading to the changing rooms. However, one stayed behind. Ahsoka as daring and eager as she usually was seemed to lose her courage, threading carefully towards him.

"Something wrong, Ahsoka?" Obi-Wan asked. Most of the time she was the first to dart to her locker when the lesson ended.

"Not with me Master. I think something's bothering you." Her words took Obi-Wan by surprise. Has he been doing a bad job of finding it? He needed to try harder. Letting his personal problems mix into his work was unacceptable. 

"Don't worry, it's nothing I can't solve on my own." The girl didn't seem to believe him judging by the unimpressed look on her face.

"You know Master, you aren't perfect and you can't do everything on your own. Sometimes I feel like you think the whole world is against you."

"It's not that. Simply put, there are things people would easily judge me for."

"Who cares if they do? And if they don't accept you it's their lose. You're a pretty cool dude or I wouldn't come to a class filled with 12 year olds."

√

Obi-Wan thought about Ahsoka's words on his way home. They made him feel confident, made him feel like he was worth something. He came to a decision, he was going to tell Anakin tonight and see how he'd take it. For the first time in ages he didn't bother to arrange his shoes or drape his coat on a hanger. He needed to get this done and over it because he didn't know for how much longer he'll posses the courage to voice something he considered his biggest shame.

He smashed the boot button on his computer a bit too hard, his fingers tapping a rhythm formed of impatience and thrill. His computer took longer than usual to boot and in a matter of seconds the faint wheezing of the fan stopped. Obi-Wan smashed the button again and again but with no different outcome. Whenever the Windows logo welcomed him it automatically crashed.

"This is fine, this is fine." He raked his mind over trying to find someone. It was too late to call a professional and tomorrow came the weekend and there was no chance he'd find one working unless... of course!"

He grabbed his cellphone and punched in Grievous' number. He prayed to every God he knew Grievous would pick up. "C'mon, c'mon, pick up alread- hey! Grievous I'm sorry to other but I need you to come fix my computer. It keeps crashing when Windows is about to start."

"I can't."

"What do you mean you can't? I swear to God if you're playing Dota 2 again I will personally make sure you can't touch a mouse anymore, or anything for that matter."

"That's a perfectly viable excuse but no. I'm out of town until Thursday." And he hung up not allowing Obi-Wan another chance to threaten him.

This was not fine.

 

On Saturday he tried immersing himself in the fantasy world of Game of Thrones which worked well for the first half of the day but by the second the letters started to blur in together or dance across the page. Obi-Wan never cared much for technology yet here he was counting down the seconds until Monday. By Sunday he resumed himself to cleaning his entire house. It was evening by the time he gathered everything in a set of plastic bags and took them out. He bumped into his next door neighbour who offered to give him a hand. Obi-Wan accepted gratefully.

"Haven't seen you this productive in months Obi-Wan. "

"Well Kit, this happens when your computer is fried to bits."

"That's unfortunate! If you have something you need to do you could use mine."

Obi-Wan turned towards Kit. His neighbours face was split into a huge smile, the corner of his eyes crooked. Kit always had a contagious smile and Obi-Wan couldn't help mimicking it. "Thank you, I'd appreciate that."

Kit offered him a cup of tea and then left him to his own devices. He barely signed into Skype when Anakin messaged him.

Ani: where the fk did u disappear????

Obi-Wan: I'm sorry. Something happened to my computer and it wouldn't start.

Ani: ok bro but ur cell??

Obi-Wan: I don't have a smartphone. 

Ani: holy shittt what do u have then

Obi-Wan: A flip phone.

Ani: hOLY FUCK !!!!

Besides Anakin's tantalising reminders of how much of a loser Obi-Wan was the conversation was pleasant. Obi-Wan's eyes raked over the screen settling on the clock. He's been here for the last 45 minutes and he deemed it time to leave. He didn't want to abuse Kit's kindness.

Obi-Wan: I have to go but we'll talk again in a few days.

He almost signed out when he received another message. His eyes widened looking over the series of number. Anakin giving him his number wasn't what perturbed him, knowing they had the same area code did. 

He never answered the message but he did save the number into his contacts.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on the next chapter. I felt this one needed it's own.

Facebook was trash but it was trash that let you know when others saw your message. However, Skype was trash that didn't. If you were to think logically about it it'd seem pathetic to 'latch' onto someone you have met exactly 11 days ago but Anakin was impulsive, passionate, always driven by emotion. He knew this, detested it, yet the panic that flooded his entire system when this man stopped showing up 3 days ago wasn't just a reminder of his enhanced ability to feel but also a reminder of pain and loss.

Padme warned him about sharing too much information, his disregard of it came from his desperation. A misanthropic boy earning for a human's attention and ready to trust, how pettier could it get? Anakin didn't think twice before giving away his phone number. How many times did Obi-Wan think about texting him, supposing he even saved it? Another rash decision that will end up costing him one way or another and what scared him the most is that he didn't care as long as he could talk to Obi-Wan again.

It was fine, really. No matter how things ended up. He'll make it, he always did.

∞

 

His eyes scanned over the row of numbers. Obi-Wan never thought numbers could scare him so much since he finished high school. Funny how some things always find a way to come back and haunt you. Shaky and sweaty hands clutched the phone afraid of dropping it, of a chance slipping through his fingers. The screen dimmed, any trace of light disappearing in the next second. A girl's radiant smile shone to the left. She seemed to whisper something too faint to hear. Obi-Wan's eyes closed and his ears perked up.

"Don't worry. He will-  
-never accept you."

Obi-Wan's body froze, a cry of sorrow escaped his throat and his eyes widened at the woman who now took her rightful place to his right. His hands moved on their own and the phone's lid shut with a click. 

The deep and slow breaths helped labour his breathing and control his emotions letting him think logically. Anakin was not her or anyone else. Anakin was his own person with his own personality and desires. 

No matter how things ended up. He'll make it, he always did. Really, it was fine. 

∞


End file.
